Wrong words. Misplaced words. Misspelled words. Incorrect punctuation. Faulty capitalization. Incomplete thoughts.

When it comes to ad copy gone wrong, this ad’s headline is just the proverbial tip of the iceberg — how many mistakes do you see? Photo courtesy of Flickr user Sylvar.

Proofreaders and editors are paid to find these issues and remedy them. Especially in advertising, using correct grammar can mean the life or death of a product or service.

Life or death? Yes, indeed. Think about it this way: Everyone makes mistakes, yes? Yes. You trust those who make fewer, perhaps less obvious — definitely less life-threatening — mistakes than those who make gaffe after embarrassing gaffe, yes? Yes. And it appears that those who make fewer mistakes seem to have their act together pretty well, or at least more so than their fumbling counterparts, yes? Yes.

Appearance means a lot, especially in the ad world.

If you put out for public consideration an advertisement that has improper grammar of some sort, it implies a few unsavory things:

• You don’t know any better (poor, unfortunate sod).
• You are sloppy with your work (if you are careless with advertising your wares or service, you very well may be careless with your wares and service, as well).
• You don’t have a strong support system or staff (surely someone would have brought the ad goof to your attention before it was too late).
• You don’t have your act together (you must be shabby at time management; otherwise, you would have found the time to read your ad copy and find the mistake).

Perhaps none of the above points are correct; perhaps you’re the most conscientious seller of your particular product or service in the whole, wide world. Perhaps a lot of people won’t even notice the problem — but perhaps a lot of people will. And your ad doesn’t show your persnickety attention to detail. Your ad shows a mistake, and the potential damage to your reputation is out there for the whole, wide world to see.

If you’re lucky, yours is a digital mistake that can quickly be fixed, with hopefully minimal negative repercussions. If you’ve a printed mistake on your hands, an ad reprint is about all you can do to fix the grammar gaffe — assuming you find it yourself or someone takes pity on you and points it out as a friendly gesture.

In advertising and marketing, companies and individuals alike rush through ads, direct mailers and brochures in order to meet a deadline. They either skip the proofreading completely or they trust that someone else will catch any unfavorable copy. Or perhaps they proof the early versions of copy and forget to have it looked at right before it heads to print. That is the exact time when many mistakes occur and when proofreading, perhaps, counts the most.

One set of eyes is OK in editing but, really, two — or more — are much, much better. And if you’re trusting writers to proof their own work, you’re in for disappointment, as most writers are not the best proofreaders around. Writers, too, have difficulty proofing what they’ve written because they expect to see it correctly — as it is in their heads. And even the most capable proofreaders are, believe it or not, human. Thus, they make mistakes. It’s tough to be 100 percent right 100 percent of the time, yes? Yes.

Checks and balances, friends. That’s what it takes to get solid, grammatically correct (and understandable) copy out there for the public eye.

If you have to tell them, you don’t have them

I recently found an oldish article by Steve McKee on Bloomberg BusinessWeek about five words that really shouldn’t be used in advertising: quality, value, service, caring and integrity. Written in ’06, this article still rings true today.

Let’s briefly examine each word and see what the hullabaloo is all about.

Picture courtesy of Flickr user Mykl Roventine

Quality

McKee points out that every product being advertised has some version of quality. His article mentions high-priced items, such as a Lexus with its handcrafted finishes or über-smooth ride, versus low-priced quality, such as the Hyundai extended warranty plan. Both products offer quality of some sort. The perceived quality is a bit subjective because one person may be interested in plush seats while the next buyer only cares about not having to pay for service in three years instead of seven.

Then there’s the issue of high-quality products versus low-quality junk. And really, no one’s going to advertise that they sell low-quality junk, are they? So telling the targeted audience that your stuff is high-quality stuff isn’t what’s going to get them to buy. Detailing what the high-quality stuff is — made with Italian wool, heat-resistant up to 1800 degrees Fahrenheit, able to leap 80-story buildings while putting a four-course meal on your table — will get them interested.

Value

I know of at least one company that puts the word “value” on just about every piece of literature about their products and services. Is that truly effective? Doubtful.

Who decides whether something is valuable or not, the seller or the buyer? One or more buyers may have told the seller that the offered product or service is, indeed, a good value. But it’s ultimately up to each buyer to decide the innate value of what’s offered. And what is a terrific value for one person may not ring true for the next. Don’t bother telling them you offer exceptional value; tell them, rather, what that exceptional value is, and then back it up by providing it.

Service

Advertising that promises great service is just that: a promise. Saying that the customer will get great service — or better service than what they’ll get from the competition — is not a great selling point because unless and until they experience otherwise, customers assume that you will treat them fairly, promptly and courteously. And if it’s in the advertisement that the customer will receive top-notch service, it’ll be that much easier for the customer to find something to complain about. (“Your ad said top-notch; you call this top-notch? Who you kidding?”)

When it comes to service (and, really, everything else on this list), perhaps the smartest advertising move is to underpromise and overdeliver.

Caring

This one is touchy. Or maybe just touchy-feely. Saying that you care about your customers is akin to saying that you offer great service — it’s expected of any decent company. It’s a bit like asking someone to trust you. And if you’re anything like me, you don’t trust anyone who says, “Trust me.” If you do trust those who ask for your trust, perhaps you also believe those who pepper their phrases with “actually,” “to tell you the truth,” “in fact” and “for real.” Why are those phrases necessary? They simply imply that what’s just been said is, indeed, true. Does that mean that all that came before is either flat-out wrong or should be questioned?

Don’t tell them that you’re telling them the truth; just tell them the truth. Don’t tell your customers how deeply you care about them; just care about them. Your actions speak much, much louder than that four-letter word.

Integrity

Integrity doesn’t rely on the customer to decide whether you have it or you don’t. You either do or you don’t. No gray area here.

Are you honest in all of your business dealings? Great — you’re full of integrity and it shows. Your customers will sing your praises all over Facebook and Twitter, not to mention through the telephone and during casual bump-ins with friends.

Do you dabble in shady deals and half-truths? Your ticket’s numbered and you know it.

A final note

As McKee points out, “what you think about your company doesn’t matter.” You can tell your potential customers how caring you are and how fantastic your service is until your pen runs dry, but what counts is their opinions. Tell them the benefits of your product or service. Share with them the results of those who have tried what you sell. Give them hard numbers, honest facts, real quotes from real people. Offer them a fair price for what you sell. And choose your advertising words carefully, putting yourself in your customers’ shoes. Would you believe what you write? If so, go for it.

If you have them, you don’t have to tell them.

This year, we are celebrating 30 years in business. To commemorate this achievement, we hosted a 30^th anniversary event that included a presentation by author and business blogger Drew McLellan entitled “Storytelling and Social Media.” In this five-part series, we will recap the highlights from his presentation. This is Part 5 of 5.

When you’re ready to tell your marketing story via social media, remember to tailor your message to the audience and to its expectations of the format.

For example, when readers go to a blog, they want to be informed or entertained — not sold.  When checking out a Facebook post, readers expect a quick, insightful “aha” moment — not a lengthy, rambling tale.

Watch this one-minute video excerpt to see the five social media storytelling tips that Drew McLellan presented at a recent seminar hosted by Armstrong|Shank.

This year, we are celebrating 30 years in business. To commemorate this achievement, we hosted a 30^th anniversary event that included a presentation by author and business blogger Drew McLellan entitled “Storytelling and Social Media.” In this five-part series, we will recap the highlights from his presentation. This is Part 4 of 5.

If people don’t have a strong feeling about you, they’ll never connect with your product.

Push yourself to tell great stories — or risk being forgotten.

Find out how author and business blogger Drew McLellan describes the “mushy middle” of advertising.

This 52-second video from Armstrong|Shank’s  “Storytelling and Social Media” seminar emphasizes the point.

Part 1: How much copy is too much?

Part 2: Listen and engage

Part 3: Telling your audience a story

This year, we are celebrating 30 years in business. To commemorate this achievement, we hosted a 30^th anniversary event that included a presentation by author and business blogger Drew McLellan entitled “Storytelling and Social Media.” In this five-part series, we will recap the highlights from his presentation. This is Part 3 of 5.

We know that telling your audience a story brings your message to life. And we understand that people remember stories far longer than they recall facts.

But how do you incorporate storytelling into advertising?

Most businesses begin by talking about their product and its features or benefits.  Unfortunately, this approach isn’t as effective as it could be.

In this wonderful example, author and business blogger Drew McLellan illustrates the magic that can happen when you begin by looking at the product from the customer’s point of view.

Watch the three-minute video from our “Storytelling and Social Media” seminar.

Part 1: How much copy is too much?

Part 2: Listen and Engage

This year, we are celebrating 30 years in business. To commemorate this achievement, we hosted a 30^th anniversary event that included a presentation by author and business blogger Drew McLellan entitled “Storytelling and Social Media.” In this five-part series, we will recap the highlights from his presentation. This is Part 2 of 5.

The new reality is that customers (happy and unhappy) are leading the conversation about their experiences with a company:  Social media has given individuals a bigger voice than ever before.

Smart companies will listen to those customers and engage with them.

Here’s a story that will terrify business owners who aren’t paying attention to what others are saying online about their brand.

In this excerpt from our “Storytelling and Social Media” seminar, author and business blogger Drew McLellan opens eyes to the importance of listening and engaging.

It takes less than three minutes, but this video is guaranteed to change the way people think about using social media.

Part 1: How much copy is too much?

This year, we are celebrating 30 years in business. To commemorate this achievement, we hosted a 30^th anniversary event that included a presentation by author and business blogger Drew McLellan entitled “Storytelling and Social Media.” In this five-part series, we will recap the highlights from his presentation. This is Part 1 of 5.

When you want to tell an advertising story that connects with your audience in an emotional way, less is more: Use fewer words to tell a story for greater impact.

Here’s a powerful reminder to avoid packing 10 pounds of information into a five-pound bag.

Watch this three-minute video from Armstrong|Shank’s 30^th anniversary seminar, “Storytelling and Social Media,” presented by author and business blogger Drew McLellan.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention is a pretty serious institution. Talk of the walking dead would seem like a topic they’d like to avoid. But earlier this year they posted a blog titled Preparedness 101: The Zombie Apocalypse.

The article asks and then answers the question of how to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. It’s humorous, zany, and more than a little out of character for a serious group like the CDC. But, strangely enough, preparing for the zombie apocalypse is remarkably similar to preparing for any other major disaster like hurricanes, floods, tornados and extended power outages.

The article was a hit. In fact, it attracted more than 3.6 billion impressions (yes, that’s a b). Not bad for an estimated $89 to produce the article. (Insert joke about the irony of the CDC going viral.)

But I can imagine, sitting here at my desk imagining things, that during the process of producing that article someone at the CDC held up a red flag. I can hear it now. “Are we sure that this is the image we want to project to the public? I’m not comfortable with it. What if someone thinks we are serious? Our credibility could be at stake here!”

I’m glad they remembered that it’s okay to show you have a sense of humor now and then — even if you are in a serious business.

Image is important to any business, and you certainly don’t want to undermine it just because some crazy marketing guy has an idea. But we shouldn’t sell short our audience’s ability to play along when we take a bit of a leap. And sometimes, crazy ideas really work.

The CDC has since added a permanent Zombie Preparedness page to their website. And a lot of people who never before thought about preparing for a natural disaster now have an emergency kit on hand.

One of the most-argued points in the history of grammar (perhaps that’s embellished just a tad) is the serial comma. A little-known fact about the serial comma is that it goes by several names:

• Serial comma
• Oxford comma
• Harvard comma

The serial comma (the most generic of the three names) is also known as the Oxford comma because it is in the Oxford University Press style guide and has been for more than 100 years. Writers who are less taken with the grammatical

Ham and eggs with a lovely garnish

influences of the Brits but who approve of the higher-brow tendencies choose to call the serial comma the Harvard comma. What about those lucky folks who went to The University of Kansas? The Jayhawk comma has a nice ring to it. How about the WuShock? Or the Wildcat comma? Do you see where all this naming madness could lead?

So — back to the topic at hand. The serial-Oxford-Harvard comma follows the penultimate word or group of words in a series. Check out these two sentences:

1. I had orange juice, hash browns, and ham and eggs this morning.
2. I had orange juice, hash browns and ham and eggs this morning.

The first sentence includes the serial comma, which groups ham and eggs as an integral item (which, in the United States anyway, it usually is) instead of two separate entries.

The second sentence does not include the serial comma, making the sentence look like it got out of the wrong side of the bed. Even though the AP Stylebook prefers no serial comma, it includes an exception for the inevitable black-sheep sentence — you know, the one with an integral element of the series requiring a conjunction (i.e., and).

For those who were raised under the iron fist of the MLA and who grew accustomed to including the serial comma, it may take you a short while to get used to its eradication (except in particular situations as noted above).

Should the serial comma be reinstated? If that happens, we’ll all still live in a non-black-and-white world, because as you are painfully aware, there’s always, always an exception to a rule, and the serial comma rule-breaker is no exception.

It’s true. Peruse these two sentences:

1. You almost ran over an electrician, Shad Zoober, and Tony Purpleface.
2. You almost ran over an electrician, Shad Zoober and Tony Purpleface.

In the first sentence: Did you almost run over two people (Shad Zoober + Tony) or three people (an electrician + Shad + Tony)?

In the second sentence, it seems fairly clear that you ran over three people. So the first sentence solidifies the point that a serial comma (in No. 1) doesn’t always clear up the meaning, whereas a lack of one does (or may). Lots of gray here, people.

So there the serial comma stands — clear as a rainy, foggy and gray day. After all this, if you still can’t figure it out, here’s a final suggestion: Rewrite!

Who doesn’t love the AP Stylebook?

An empty soundstage: Is there anybody out there? (Photo courtesy of Flickr user juliejordanscott)

Wait — don’t answer that. As a borderline OCD writer-editor-proofreader-blogger, I am over the moon in awe of the journalist/advertising bible. It’s absolutely true that a few of its rules drive the hoards of creative types wild — especially when I’m the messenger — yet I love it all the more.

The AP Stylebook lays down the grammatical and editorial laws that allow creativity to flow between and bounce off of those same laws. How else would all of the rogue writers out there prove their anti-establishmentarian tendencies if there were no establishment to mock? Editors are familiar with these rogues — make no mistake. Editors and writers sometimes have a tumultuous relationship. But the good ones (and there are a lot of good ones) marry the rules with the creativity, producing something truly spectacular and correct, all at the same time.

My 2011 AP Stylebook has not led me astray so far — even though it still wants me to put a period at the end of each bulleted sentence or phrase, no matter how unnecessary it may be — insanity.

So what else did the latest edition the AP Stylebook suggest? Here’s a short list of groups of words (two words or hyphenated words) that are now one word:

Cellphone

Checkout

Geolocation

Email (only an uppercase “E” if it starts a sentence)

Filmgoer

Firsthand

Handheld (noun)

Nonprofit

Postgame

Pregame

Serviceman, servicewoman (but still service member)

Smartphone

Soundstage

Tipoff

Unfollow

Videotape

If you’re at all into grammar or language, you’ve probably already heard that the hyphenated “e-mail” fought the good fight but ended up in the word graveyard. That one change alone made a whole host people very happy, indeed. The other words, such as filmgoer and handheld — didn’t cause as much of a stink, but here they are. Use them in good health.